Since November last year I have been going on a journey of personal reinvention regarding my goals, abilities, the world around me in the micro and the meta and the destination of my future. A lot of education and a lot of study has been involved and now I have a lot of plans and a lot of ambition and drive.

I have been piling all of this up continuously and have only been able to act on it at about 10% of the rate that I am absorbing it and now I am burnt out. This has come due to a lack of funds, a lack of energy, lack of any master minds to share my ideals and goals with and all compounded by the freezing cold weather of where I live. Which wouldn’t be an issue, except the lack of funds part also makes heating a luxury we are not investing in.

I noticed I was burnt out when I started reading books for the pen and paper game Paranoia and became instantly hooked again. I sat back and investigated myself as to why I was so absorbed in this and neglecting other texts. I guess after over half a year of nothing else it is good to have a rest. 

And so I will rest.

When I was very young, I never understood the purpose of the financial news, stock market reports and things like that. These days I am surprised by how easily I can sit in front of the numbers and graphs for hours without getting bored. A number of people, thanks to my friend Tim, started to call me space jew because of how much of a money maker I am in various space empire simulators. It was fun to play the games like that and it was fun to help fund my allies in need without breaking a sweat. This is the mentality I have as I start to build my real world empire.

A lot has been changing. Many new business and building ventures are being formulated. Education,  preparation. My desire to conquer certain aspects of myself and the world around me grow considerably every day. I have changed so much since I first started this site. My goals and understandings have exploded exponentially.

Some one tell me what to do if you hate all the candidates you are forced to vote for.

A couple months ago me and Liz were listening to Linkin Park. Older stuff, nothing after Jayz, because seriously, its crap. Anyway, she made an observation that the song and the song after were not specifically about a woman or a relationship. We talked about it a bit and more songs played and we came to a strange conclusion.

We are quite certain that all early Linkin Park songs, are actually about a mentor in school or in life. Could also be about an inspirational idol that the guy looks up to and learns from. But it is not about love or relationships. Seriously.

Liz just sent me this message:

Urinal guy was in… That means I got chocolate

I am learning the shit out of these free courses on open2study. I am almost addicted to them. 

I have NEVER, in my entire life, enjoyed learning since I started studying again in the last year.

Here is what I found about this learning that made me want to be so involved and enjoy it.

1. I am not being forced to do anything I dont want to. Unfortunately, this may become true if I do anything after a diploma level, but I hope its kept minimal. Forced elective subjects away from your chosen field, is what ruins the desire to study. I am paying to learn X, not Y.

2. I am not learning about the things that make up my hobby. Working in a technical environment with computers, made me hate computers. I am much happier now that I work in something completely different and not even remotely related to my normal life outside of work.

3. Prospect of more money. Currently between me and liz we make ok money. However with all the loans we have due to the house and buying it at the same time as our wedding, we spend less than ever. The drive to get more money actually exists now. You would think people would constantly want more money, but I did not really feel it untill I was in the process of actually getting there.

High school is none of these things.

I find it, almost hilarious, that many people fight for the right to legalise recreational drugs, but then fight against the idea of being drugged by their government or similar.

Ok, there really isnt many people like this, the internet just magnifies them and makes them louder. 

I have no issue with recreational drugs. Ive said this a lot. You go on and enjoy your drugs. If you ever bring any into my home and offer me some I will break your fingers. Or if you confront me in the street under their influence and there is no one watching. Bam. Fingers gone broked good.

This will probably never happen though. I don’t go out much.

Ive spent a fair bit of time at the doctors in the last few months. At one time i was taking about 10 pills a day. Also had a cancer scare. Just recently spent a night in hospital tied up to sensors. 

I sit back and consider these things and shrug them off. This is normal for me. Ive lost count of the surguries and problems ive had. I had my first surgury at 4 years of age. Sounds sad doesnt it. But really, to me, it isnt. Its not that im used to it. you cant get used to having doctors poking you with shit and then saying, ok, time to rip the insides off your face out.

Its more that it gives me perspective and unaldultered hate towards everything else. What? I imagine you might think.

I desire things on two levels. My daily basic desires that are achievable. Food, my wife, the knowkedge that i am better than everyone else, my garden, the joy of driving. Then there are those that i dream of. I wish to destroy everything and rebuild it myself. I want to segregate everything i hate, which is nearly everything in our modern immoral society. I cant even feel happy with my job because i have answers to all my problems but no one will fix them, if i could tell them. I desire perfection. 

I desire an augmented reality that is possible to achieve with money. This is a real desire and not just a dream. A dream you sit back and go “that would be nice”. Desire is a craving. And when i am confronted with my mortality, my desire is inflamed. This happens a lot.

Ok, I am going to pretend to be a whiny little teen here and go ahead and state my words in an uncontrolled and completely unthought through way.  Because really, what actual real scientist really cares what the internet has to say?

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To every one bitching about climate change and shit like that. Go and look up ancient underwater civiliations and the temperature cycle of the earth. Thousands of years ago, our ancestors werent going around going, CLIMATE CHANGE CLIMATE CHANGE END OF THE WORLD IM A FUCKING RETARD STOP BURNING WOOD TOO MUCH CO2 STOP DRIVING YOUR CARS TOO MUCH INDUSTRY FFFFFMMMMMHMMPPHPpptptptptp. And their cities still ended up under water and they still had massive natural disasters, that wiped out ENTIRE civilisations and what we get today did not compare to theirs. 

Go back to the dinosaurs. It was warm and temperate OH WAIT NO! DINOSAURS CAUSED GLOBAL WARMING AND T.. wait.. ice age? Ok, then it was warm again, then another ice age? Seriously.. THIS IS BASIC GEOGRAPHY IN HIGH SCHOOL! This is when I learned this shit. When I was in year 7.

If you really hate climate change then get off your computer, out of your car, dont use anything produced by an industry (ie, not hand made from a tree) and just enjoy living in a cave, eating your cold uncooked food. EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU POST OR VOICE YOUR OPINION ON THE INTERNET ABOUT CARBON EMISSIONS BEING BAD, YOU ARE BEING A HYPOCRITE.

For a very very long time I have wanted to list the games that I have played with a short review. I have done this. I will continue as time goes on to add to the list. It isnt fancy, its more for me than you really to be honest. But I am always right so you should read these reviews and listen to them closely.

It is important to note though, that my original reason for this was to scare people away from bad games. So far, I have mostly reviewed the games I have enjoyed so far.

I am so sick right now. I need to get up to feed the dogs but I cant. I am running out of the ability to blow my nose. These are the kind of sicknesses where you say to yourself, man, I wish I was dead. So why am I bothering to type this here? Because I am bored. I cant focus on playing games and I have a headache.  In the future, I can look back at this post and say, what a great start I had to the new financial year.

I like the show ancient aliens. 

While, many of the people on the show come to the aliens conclusion too soon, too easily and too without really even considering otherwise, I still love to see how history proves that nothing is new. Even modern science.

Does democracy work? Depends.

Democracy is just an advanced communism. Every one gets an adjusted share according to how much effort they put in and they get to choose their leader. Who, does whatever hey want. Now, people might think I am riding the wave of hate against the current government, but this is not true. I have always thought this and have always voted for the lesser of the two evils. I voted for the current government, because the last one was a joke. Now, it turns out this one is just a bigger joke. BUT, this joke, is an inside joke that we dont get.

The head of the government, is powerless. They have no say in what is or has to be done and while they campaign to be elected, their small campaign party does not know what is already in place by the current government. Which, is failure. So, while they make promises to get elected, which they DO believe is possible, they realise once they take the seat that it’s actually impossible.

Of course, they don’t realise this immediately and they interpret is as such: Australia is messed, so every one in Australia must know that in order to fix it this must be done. Of  course, what defines Australia as “messed” is defined by the individual. Which in most cases, is wrong, because every one is different so there is no right answer. So, every government gets slammed for every decision they make. Lies, broken promises or not, we are forced to do what they want regardless. And in the end, we either get less tax or more centrelink payments.

I think I can see Americas asshole from here. I think we are getting closer.

I dont know how, but that firefox at work autoupdated to the newest version. I dont like swearing much, but seriously, I fucking hate this thing. I hate what web browsers are turning into and I fucking hate having to re install old version CONSTANTLY because web browsers never do what they are told. I am going to pop a vein so hard that it will trap air bubbles in my blood stream and I will die.