My recent experience still disrupts my mind. I still have not been able to reengage my creativity and I find myself seeking out conflict in order to test my plans against my self. It seems I have more time and pleasure arguing with people on the the very thing I am trying to destroy, compared to people who are just of no value in general. It is in this almost delirious campaign that I have realised that I have culled too much and we are at an intersection I predicted some time ago. My standards are getting more precise and I am losing resources. I have however found renewed energy in reinforcing the resources I do have and hopefully myself too. I have to in order to achieve my goals. But I also need my creativity to return. I need to finish the house doctrine I crave.

It takes a lot to change me, but here we are. I haven’t been able to do any programing for a week now. This was a big one. Several levels. A new method of thinking. A shock to my creativity. A shackle on one or two emotions undone. This year has been a good year for me.

Absolutely disgusting. But people love it.

Someone told me at the start of this year that this will be it, the end of the current civilisation cycle. I told him it wasn’t. It’s not enough. Ughhhh. I wish it was though. I know the world isn’t getting dumber at full speed before my eyes, but they’re getting louder and more noticeable.

The more I use windows 7, the more I hate it. For ever step forward it takes from windows XP, it takes 3 steps backwards, down the stairs. This is from a personal use, work and development perspective.

As for every thing else, meh. Maybe another time.

“There were two kinds of strength. One was the strength that came with having something to protect. The other was the strength of having nothing to lose.”

To those that are reading this, there is a 95% chance you are retarded. This is the state of the internet. Go home.

Took only 5 minutes going through a car magazine and seeing a bunch of guys in a beat up shit box having fun doing burnouts, to make me want to work on cars again.

Mrrrrrrr…..

I’m on another anime binge. Even when you hit a Japanese cliche, it can still be a masterpiece in its own right. Unlike western media these days.

Are my standards increasing, or is the quality of the options decreasing. I feel that I’m merely getting to know my options better and they are just worse than I thought. I need a new pool to draw from. I’ll find the right people eventually.

I was doing well with my health but something has set me back significantly. I was quite certain of a cause, however I came across something that conflicted that information. Cross testing basically made me revert to poor health. So another month or two before I can pick up my research.

Due to this though, I have spent a lot of possible productive time at home just watching shows. As such, I have been added a fair bit of new stuff to my Japanese media reviews. Pairing this up with my Japanese lessons though has been very productive, so time not lost entirely.

So someone pointed out that there is stuff on here from the original host before I was running this as a site. It looks like I moved a bunch of data and then forgot about it.

It prompted me to skim through some of the old area of the site and I found stuff that is way way old and was supposed to be sorted 10 years ago.

And I’m not going to bother. Maybe one day. Maybe I should just delete it. Meh.

Nothing really of note here, other than a site I use regularly completely over hauling their site, forgetting what it used to look like and then telling me to move on.

ozgunsales

What can you see with no eyes?

The contrast between useful and apathetic cultural ideologies and has been revealed to me recently. A new piece of wisdom that has further reduced my already tiny tolerance for apathy around me.