Fallout 3
by: Anman
Total views: 129
Fallout 3. My balls have made better.
I have made an ammendment 8/1/08, because people keep putting their nuts to my face saying BUUUR YOU ARE WRONG. Marked as (A1)
I'm not a fan of game reviews. Or at least, profesional ones. They are always biased to some degree. It's hard to tell if a magazine is being bought off or something. But listen to me here, and listen to me good. What I am saying, is straight from my fingers to your eyes and is not influence by anything anyone else has said to me. I have only played the game for 10 hours and I'm ONLY going to finish it because its a fallout world. So anything said here, is only within the first 10 hours of gameplay. Which is enough for me to judge a game.
Fallout 3 is shit. Here is a list of why. For each item I will list only ONE reason. There will usualy be many. If I am particuly pissed off at that reason I might list two. Or, as I usualy do in the past, just rant about it until I get bored. I have not spell checked this or given it a once over. This is a rant, and I hate rereading my rants. I know I have already missed out a lot that I hate/like about the game, but 80% of it is hate, so I don't care anymore.
Character creation is shit. 1 hour just to start the game. And no main screen for stats/character comparisons.
Character attributes (S.P.E.C.I.A.L) are handled shit. They have no real governing force over anything.
Character attribute association is shit. Perception ONLY effects enegry weapons. Agility only effects small guns and so on. It's the dumbest shit ever.
(A1) The games information is misleading. Apparently, perception DOES effect auracy with SNIPING at long distances. But the games, DOES NOT TELL YOU THIS. It clearly says PERCEPTION IS ONLY GOOD FOR ENERGY WEAPONS, EXPLOSIVES AND LOCKPICKING. And it says NOTHING ELSE. The game has MISLEADING INFORMATION. But this is just one point out of so many others.
The interface is shit. So shit. Really shit. Increcibly shit. I had a nightmare about how shit it was. Its tedious, annoying and built for consoles. You cant cross reference all your stats, you cant view it all at once, there is all this FUCKING SPACE around the screen that is NOT used to show you your inventory or ANYTHING. WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING! There are a 3 buttons to pick, then an additional 5 or 6 buttons to pick from there. And then you have to SCROLL.
The WHOLE game is console bound. And its done like shit.
The weapon condition system is shit. Really really shit. Who the hell thinks of this shit?
The fact that repair determines initial condition is shit. Without a high repair, the game is shit.
The fact that the highest MERCHANT NPC REPAIRER only has a skill of 24 IS SHIT. You can NEVER get your equipment fully repaired without a high skill. Thus bringing me back to a previous point, of the game making you take repair.
ALL items with a low condition do less damage and have less armour. WHich is shit and brings me back to the previous point of making you take repair.
Melee no longer has any real purpose. I usualy take melee as a backup for when I run out of weapons or to save ammo. Oh well, you know, something about melee weapons continouly getting worn out reminds me of ammo. A melee weapon, or any weapon, that wears out deal less damage right. So then you need to attack more with it in order to deal the same damage it used to. Further decreasing the condition of the weapon. So it gets to the point, where in order to deal the same damage as one attack from a full condition weapon takes you 10 attacks from a lower condition, which futher lowers it's condition even MORE. What the hell? It wouldn't be THAT bad, as it was in morrowind, but as your weapons go down REALLY quickly, its like being punched in the balls.
Repairing items with other items, IS being punched in the balls. I repaired a baseball bat, with another baseball bat. I couldnt repair a pair of glasses with a slightly different pair of glasses. I could repair a combat knife with another combat knife. I COULDNT repair 1 of 5 different raider helmets, that all look the same, with one of the OTHER 5 helmets. What the shit.
No traits.
The perks are shit. There are half the amount of perks and they are all shit. Why are they all shit? Because you get one each level. Which is dumb. I almost maxed out my SPECIAL stats. Which brings me to a previous point, in that the SPECIAL stats are useless.
The red and blue Karma system is SHIT. Karma can work in two ways. A personal indicator of yourself, also known as ALIGMENT. Or, how people percieve you. They treat is as first, but take out justice on you in the latter. If I clean out an entire house, and no one sees me or knows it was me, every one hates you. Like they are some kind of omnicient god. That is wrong. A screwed up kind of wrong and takes away from the joy of sneaking into peoples houses in fallout 1 and 2 and stealing their stuff then running off in the night with no one being none the wiser. Which brings me to my next point.
Bethesda didn't learn anything from their previous games. If I have stolen something on one side of the world, and get caught doing it on the other side of the world, ALL my stolen things get taken. Figure that shit out. Wich brings me to my next point.
Stealing and stealth are useless skills. Unless youre going to play evil and KILL ever town, in turn killing all quest givers thus ruining the game. Which brings me to my next point.
The quests are long and boring due to the TRAVELING involved. Which brings me to my next point.
The world is fucking stupid and empty. There is NOTHING there. For a world with HUNDREADS of ruined buildings, there sure is a lot of NOTHING. And you spend a great deal of time wandering around nothing, picking up nothing, getting lost because of this nothing blocking your way. Which brings me to my next point.
The map is shit. Mostly because of a previous point about the interface. It is so shit you cant make out anything and it makes me want to rape my eyes, having to zoom in and out all the time looking at the shity blue lines that are blury because Bethesda wanted to take a DUMP in your face. Which brings me to my next point.
The routes to quest locations and targets are shit and the same. If I see another bottle littered subway tunnel again, I'm going to mail Bethesda a box of my own shit. They are all exactly the same and only bringing up the incredibly clumsy and shitty pipboy can you usualy tell where abouts you are going. Which brings me to my next point.
The pip boy, which is 80% of your interface, is the worst fricken system ever. As mentioned in a previous point, its clumsy and shit. Whats with all the fricken buttons and clicking and scrolling and pressing e and shit. Hey guys, this may be great for a console, oh wait, NO ITS NOT. ITS NOT GOOD FOR ANYTHING YOU FUCKING SKANKS! YOU DIDNT EVEN MAKE MOST OF THE ROOM ON THE SCREEN (As mentioned in a previous point)! Because of the incredibly shit interface, youll love it when you quickly view the map to see where you are, then go back to your items screen to eat some food, then go to the stats page to use a stim pack on a crippled limb, then close the pip boy. Walk for 5 minutes, open the pip boy up again to view the map, oh wait, need to click back to the map section, then click on the option I want and FAR OUT ITS A PIECE OF SHIT! Which brings me to the next point.
The game is NOT intuitive. Morrowind, was. Fallout 1 and 2 was. I didn't play obvlivion because within the first 5 minutes of looking at it I had to gouge my eyes out at the interface... So... How did I manage to play the game at all? I had my uncle with me the entire time watching. That's right, all 10 hours. He told me about the repair skill, he told me about how the attributes work, he told me about how to asign quick slots, he told me EVERYTHING. If I didn't know these things, I would have to have spent the first hour of my gaming time reading the manual. Fuck. That. Which brings me to my next point.
The flavour in the game is shit. Fallout 1. I found a holodisk that explains the first encounters with the FEV virus. SHIT YEAH! AWESOME! INTERESTING! Fallout 2, Oh hey, tribals, crashed vertibird and a new drug on the scene. Fallout 3. A FUCKING POEM ABOUT NOTHING. THE END! Oh wait, I found some teriminals that told me how many earths could fit into jupiter! HOO FUCKING RAH! FALLOUT UNIVERSE! JUPITER!... Seriously. What the hell. I even spoke to an old woman for 30 minutes about a piece of shit town I didnt really care about. GREAT! Which brings me to my next point.
What the hell is wrong with Bethesdas idea of Post Apocalyptic? The first town you walk into, is an engineering impossibility. Also a paradox of post apocalyptic life. First, the town gates. WHAT THE HELL!? I was under the impression they would want to conserve energy and implement a more CONVENTIONAL gate system that 1, actually WOULD prevent intruders and 2, wouldnt use so much fricken power. The buildings, the pathways, the pipes in this town, are STUPID. With todays engineers and technology you COULDNT EVEN MAKE THAT NOW. And yet, somehow, a bunch of idiot caravaners, managed to haul a shit load of aero plane shells from far off and build this bullshit city, which I have to spend most of the time jumping from buildings because it takes so slow to get around. Which brings me to my next point.
YOU MOVE LIKE A CRIPPLED BRICK. How is it that pretty much every one else except you can move around fast. Robots I guess dont count. Which will brings me to another point later. In a game, where you have to walk EVERYWHERE. EVERYWHERE. EVERYWHERE. At least once. You move too slow. It takes forever to cover empty ground and most enemies can run up to you. Slow and shit. Which brings me to my next point.
Ghouls. Or Gouls, depending on whether you can spell or not, are not fast. They never were. So where did these feral ghouls come from? How is it that they can build a fire and not kill each other but apparently not have the mental capacity to see someone cracking each of his friends open with a sledge hammer and NOT attack. Seems a bit flimsy to me.
THe VATS system.... Oh sweet Jesus and God in Heaven and all things that are holy this system is shit. SHIT. Its fun the first 3 times, but when you have to watch everything in slow motion 100 times its fucking horrible. In fallout 1 and 2 I aimed at targets at LEAST 100 times per game. Except that one time I took quick shot as a trait, where you cant aim, but hey, as previously mentioned NO TRAITS in fallout 3. So, lets do that 100 times in fallout 3. Thats right, you literaly gain hours of extra gameplay in the form of WAITING FOR SHIT TO HAPPEN. And what ever happened to aiming for individual parts in melee? I dont understand that. Its almost as if they didnt want to change the OBLIVION engine in order to mismatch different attack styles. All this in turn discourages use of the VATS, which in turn make action points useless really. In fact, it makes using action points a painful experience that even after my 10 only hours of gameplay, I really really hate Bethesda for it.
Did I mention that I hated the pipboy, the repair system or VATS?
Random enemies make no sense. Wandering around, oh a raider.. Ok. Thats cool. Wandering around, a rad scorpian. Ok. Wandering around, 2 robots. .. What? A protecatron or whatever its called and a brain bot thing. Ok. Why are they shooting at me? Why are they here? HOW did they get here? Why arent they shooting at each other? Why werent they destroyed by the wandering hunters and other people YEARS before I even showed up. Is there some factory nearby that makes an unlimited supply of these things? Protecatron 1,567,433,535 comes off the production line. Programing: "Stand at random location and wait for hero of game." PISS OF BETHESDA! ITS BAD ENOUGH ALL YOUR OTHER GAMES ARE LIKE THAT YOU SACK OF SHIT! And for robots, they are weak. Last time I remembered, robots were made from metal. People were made from flesh. I released a robot in the first super mall thing, it killed a few raiders THEN DIED. And for a protectatron, its weapon sure is SHIT.
The Assualt Rifle and the CHINESE Assault Rifle. Aside from being called the CHINESE Assault rifle, tell me children, what is the difference between these two guns? Nothing, except the damage. So why bother using the other gun? Just like all their other games, Bethesda makes 100 shitty weapons and equipment that you will NEVER USE. Mainly, because you already have better equipment before youve even started the game. Oh wait, I know why you would use the assualt rifle, in case your CHINESE riffle runs out of condition. I dont know, last time I checked the Kalashnikov, Which is WHAT this weapon is, could fire more than 400 rounds before it needed to be repaired. And after every 30 rounds its damage didnt decrease by one point. Which brings me to my next point.
All the items are shit. Every single item you get is shit. Oh look, I found some pre war clothing. Yep. Never gonna use, never gonna take it to sell. Why even bother. Oh I wore it for 5 seconds to see how funny it looked, but that got boring after 5 minutes. I even ended up selling my mobster looking outfit because it was a waste of space, time and money. Oh wait, I could store it in the house? WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT!? I WILL NEVER USE IT AGAIN! WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT! All these armours and helmets that grab you a bonus to your skills, weigh you down. And carry weight is an important thing. You start out carry them in case you need them, but theyre all shit because they dont provide enough armour. And there are many things like that. 90% of the items in the world, you learn quickly to NOT pick up and ignore.
Raditation doesn't make you mutate. I guess, this COULD be explained because fallout 1 and 2 was set in the FEV area of the world. Maybe. Explain the super mutants here then. Which brings me to my next point.
If I stand in the radiatied water next to the bomb in megaton, I die within the day. The preacher guy stands there all day, all night, for the rest of my game time. He doesn't die. Which brings me to my next point.
Fallout 1 and two. "I am sick of your bullshit shady sands, die." And they do. I just tested this out now, "I'm sick of your bullshit Megaton. die." Few days later every one is back. Angry at you, and back. Zombies? Miracles? Bethesda taking a shit down your throat? Which brings me to my next point.
Quests DO NOT go the way you want them to. The very few quests in the game are NOT flexible. Sure, you can take ONE subway, or you can take ANOTHER subway path to get there, but its the same no matter what. And they are incredibly INFLEXIBLE. Take, the Megaton Sherif and the Mr Burke character. He gets up out of his chair to shoot the sherif. Within 0.5 seconds, the sherif dies. How did that happen? Reload, I KILL the guy before he shoots at the sherif. I turn around, the sherif has DISSAPEARED. Completly. 15 seconds later I get message saying he has been killed. Despite the fact, a shot was never fired. I CLEARLY saved the guy, but oh no, Bethesda wont have that. Instead, they have HIS son tell me he will give me the reward. THe kid walks into the bar, tells me this info, with NO TEARS, no sadness, then walks out again. Bethesda, fuck you. I replay this scene a couple times to see if I could save the sherif. Another interesting find. I shoot burke, before he even gets out of his chair. Every one in the bar, INCLUDING the sherif shoots at me and tries to kill me. Burked, shoots at the sherif and kills him, EVERY ONE IN THE BAR STANDS THERE AND DOES NOTHING AS BURKE TRIES TO KILL ME. WHAT THE BALLS!
2 days before shops restock their money. The very very few shops with very very few money. I suppose, this makes sense, but with all the power armour laying out in the wastes THAT YOU CANT USE should fetch you some money. Nope. Too heavy, too useless, spend way too much time hanging around. Which brings me to my next point.
POWER ARMOUR IS SHIT. + to stats and - to stats? What? Requires training? What? I found some right at the start of the game. I just sold it. What? WHAT? Any one remember fallout 1? POWER ARMOUR! FUCK YEAH! I AM A GOD! YEAH! Fallout 2. FINALY! POWER ARMOUR! FUCK YEAH! I AM IMORTAL. Almost. Fallout 3. Oh.. well.. power armour. Well... Im not even going to pick it up. What a piece of shit. And then to hide their inability to control item distribution, Bethesda make up the excuse that you need "TRAINING" to use it. ITS FUCKING ARMOUR YOU PIECES OF SHIT! SELF CONTAIN ARMOUR THAT DOES NOT NEED TO BE REPAIRED FOR HUNDREADS OF YEARS! YOU NEVER PLAYED FALLOUT 1 YOU FAGGOTS! 29/1/09: "Note that even though the user manual for the armor describes that "even a child could use it", the armor still requires Power Armor training to use." Which brings me to my next point.
My karma got high enough, every time I went to Megaton a chick came up to me and gave me free stuff praising me for my good work. She was really nice. I say thank you then she walks up. I run up to her and talk to her again and then she tells me to piss of and bother someone else, in those exact words almost. What? Which brings me to my next point.
I hate character creation questions. I then had to SIT through the entire questionaire despite the fact I already asked the teacher to rig my results. THAT IS WHY I ASKED TO RIG THEM! SO I COULD SKIP IT! Oh no, Bethesda thought other wise. We will MAKE you sit there and wait. WE just LOVE to make you hate us.
Jet is useless. Fallout 2, JET! 100% addition rate? Who cares. I took that shit like a drug (ehem) and I was a god. Here? I wouldn't even feed it to a dog for shits and giggles. Speaking of dogs, how is it, a vicious dog, can take about 5-7 hits from a sledge hammer and not die, but an insane feral ghoul dies in 1-2 hits, and EXPLODES from those hits?
Bartering is shit. If you accidently go over the amount of money they have, you dont know how far you went over. I have had to count bullets one by one to get exact monetary value. And because of the console like navigation its shit. What was wrong with the old system? Nothing. Bethesda just like to skull fuck you while youre awake and you take it like a man because you keep playing the game. Which brings me to the next point.
They ruined fallout. Forever and ever. I hate the game and would have stopped playing after 2 hours, but KEPT playing because it was FALLOUT. And THAT is how they will make their money. The game, is shit. But its fallout.
Level cap at level 20. Ok. Fine. I mean, the previous fallouts had no level cap. I mean, its a MASSIVE open ended world, there is no point in exploring it once you get to level 20. No rewards, not getting stronger. No point in fighting deathclaws or anything. No reward. But that isnt my issue, yet. I've only played for 10 hours. Heres my issue. I havn't explored ANYTHING. Ive done NO exploring outside of a couple of quests and the town. None. Ive done 1 side quest (outside of the vault) and one part of the main quest. Im level 7. Hold on, I just started and Im already over a third of my levels?
I havn't seen it yet, but Ive heard enough about it. The ending. What a piece of shit. And if you actually follow through with it, you cant keep exploring the world. Wow. Open ended world, so big, so much to do, if you ACTUALLY play the main quest though were going to rip all of that away from you and kill you off. GREAT JOB GUYS!
Bugs. Oh man there are so many bugs. Enemy buys, texture bugs, action event bugs, friendly unit bugs. Im following the sherif to the bar, hes about to punch out some justice. 5 seconds into me following him he dissapears. Ok? I find him in the bar.... ok... Theres a super mutant with a sledge hammer behind a rock. He can see me. I too have a sledge hammer. He first runs to one side of the rock... Then to the other. Then back to the other and repeats continouly. These were pathing issues in MORROWIND. Seriously, Bethesda are hopeless assholes. Dont even get me started in the cross fire issue. 2 groups of enemies fighting each other. One guy accidently hits a friendly. They start killing each other. These were issues in Morrowind. And from what I hear, Oblivion. Why havn't they fixed this yet?
Empty. So much stuff and the game is empty. I think I already mentioned this, but it needs more emphasis. So much to see, nothing to do.
3rd person is shit. I hate it. I would also like to map my mouse wheel to weapon scroll. Oh no. Its reserved for the mighty CHANGE FROM FIRST TO THIRD PERSON ZOOM! Which I hate. I hate so much. Its not an over head top view, its a behind view. Meaning, anything in front of your model cant be seen. YAY!
Did you know your pip boy can be used as a torch? My uncle beat the game and he didn't know. I found it out by accident over a span of 50 minutes. Thanks for telling us Bethesda! I mean, you at least taught us how to use WSAD to move, and how to pick up items and such. Thanks for that you fucking morons. 99% of the people who will play your game will already have known that. How about the REST of the game? Gonna teach us about that in your tutorial? Didnt think so.
Item creation is a waste of time. And money. And useless. Collecting parts for a schematic? Don't expect to pick up anything else while youre doing it. Your carry weight is so minimal its pathetic. I have a strength of 8 and its shit. Oh wait, if I take some booze it goes up by 10. 10. A WHOLE fucking 10. THATS USELESS! And once the booze wears off youre over encumbered anyway. Which brings me to my next point.
We've all had alcohole. We all know how drugs hurt. So how is, when alcohole or drugs wear off your vision goes insanly blury to the point of complete distraction? I drank a bottle of wine. I was fine for the entire time, except for those 15 seconds in the middle of my fight with 3 super mutants with mini guns. Oh yeah, that was fun. AND COMPLETLY FUCKING STUPID!
How is it, that drinking from a filthy, radiated toilet can give you 4 life, but taking a pack of blood only gives you 1? And that one pack of blood weighs 1 pound. 29/1/09: And that it takes a VAMPIRE... A VAMPIRE... It takes a VAMPIRE to get you to get a decent amount of life out of it. VAMPIRES.
Why would a feral ghoul carry anything, let alone a teddy bear.
There are NO descriptions for anything, anywhere. Im looking at an item in a shop. I dont know what it is, or what it does. I have no idea of finding out what it is. Same for my inventory. Oh look, I found a book, its obviously usable because its in my AID section, but I have no Idea what it does. If there is a way to find out what shit does tell me. Im not searching for it because the game has already wasted my time making me angry enough to write this shit.
CONVERSATION IS FUCKING PATHETIC! You always have to scroll to view the options at the bottom. If you choose an option at the buttom, it automaticly takes you BACK To the top of the options list after they say their piece. If there is a lot of writing, its annoying. Sure, they mark which bits of text you have already asked, but tell me. WHY DIDNT THEY JUST HALVE THE SIZE OF THE TEXT!
You cant kill children. Does anyone remember, the only titles of CHILD KILLER and BEZERKER from the old fallouts? Such an open, flexible world my ass. Its just another bethesda circle jerk trap. And youre playing it. Its called fallout 3.
There is more, I just can't remember anything else at the moment. But I beleive, this is enough. Anyone who enjoyed this game is a fucking piece of shit. That means you Nick and Luke and every one else who has told me its a good game. You're all a bunch of idiots because this is one of the worst games I have ever played. Ok, now onto the good things about the game.
The gore is sufficient.
VATS is cool the first 4-5 times.
You can kill the overseer before he gets to his station with miniguns. There is no station with miniguns.
You dont start the game killing rats of ants. Actually, you start the game by killing ARMED GUARDS WITH A BASEBALL BAT. Whatever happened to difficulty progression.
You can wear a party hat. Oh wait, you DONT get to keep that hat and use it when youre older. USELESS. 29/1/09: I got one after 20 hours of play. I wish I never made a promise to myself I would play this game through fully.
Sherifs hat and sunglasses is the coolest look ever. Oh wait, its FUCKING useless because it only provides 2 armour which makes it patheticly useless.
The game is pretty. Oh wait, no its not. Its the same bullshit brown over and over and over. Theres a splash of green, a splash of white and a splash of black SOMETIMES.
The graphics are realistic. FUCK YOU.
About the Author
Anman is NOT a novice gamer. He is NOT a moron. He thinks, Bethesda thinks hes a moron. For making such a shit game, then expecting him to play it. Oh they knew he would. Its a FALLOUT game after all. He's played fallout 1 and 2 to death. Then played tactics, then playing the Brotherhood of Steel game on plastation. They KNEW he would play this game. Well guess what Bethesda, FUCK YOU! I PLAYED IT ON MY UNCLES COMPUTER! I NEVER BOUGHT YOUR FUCKING SHITTY GAME AND I NEVER WILL YOU FUCKING PEICES OF SHIT I FUCKING HATE YOU YOU USELESS CUM BUCKETS!
YOU RUINED FALLOUT!
Rating: 3.00